Destination Wedding Dilemma

A close family member is getting married in April.  The bride and groom have decided to hold a destination wedding and we, all 4 of us, are invited. The cost of the trip is $5,675.  Am I a Scrooge because paying for this trip is giving me panic attacks?

To be fair I should tell you that my Mom is paying the cost for one of our kids to go — so our final tally will be just over $4,500. Still, it just seems like so much money!  I call it the destination wedding dilemma.  It is mostly a mental dilemma, since the trip is booked and the bill in the mail.

I know that destination weddings have become very popular.  They can be a great way to bring together families that need to travel long distances to come together for a wedding.  It is a party that lasts for a week or more, and as an added bonus, you get a vacation too.

I have mixed feelings about the trip.  Our family does not travel much.  We are “staycation” people and enjoy taking in the entertainment and activities close to home.  Take your pick of any indoor or outdoor activity and it can be found close to home. If we were going to take an exotic vacation, I don’t think the destination we are going to is what we would choose.  It is a beautiful resort and I am sure we will enjoy it but it is just not my first choice.

On the financial side, I am paying for the trip to the wedding with money I have designated as retirement savings and I think it is going to mean an extra 4-6 months of working life for me.  I have been so hyper-focused on financial independence and retirement, that I can’t help but think of money in those terms.

Saying “NO” to the trip is out of the question, if I want to stay on good terms with our family.  I feel so guilty about the whole thing.  Guilty, resentful, miserly and inconsiderate.  My friends have told me to suck it up, get over it, and accept that we are going on a wonderful trip, for a wonderful reason and to have the best family vacation ever.

Since this trip is causing so much mental angst, does it mean I am a Scrooge?

5 Comments


  1. We went to a destination wedding in fall of 2012 and I had to get quite creative to try to save some money.

    I understand how you feel though since it is at the expense of your retirement savings. I hope you can enjoy yourself, anyways.
    DEBt DEBs recently posted…Throwing up a Blog Time CapsuleMy Profile

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    1. I am still a tiny bit bitter about the money but looking forward to it and think it will be great to spend quality time with my family.

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    1. Thanks, the full payment was actually due last month but you are right, I did have some time to get some money organized. Hope that all will be forgotten when I am lounging by pool with a fancy drink.

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