99 First World Problems

99 first world problems Messy MoneyI Got 99 First World Problems… #firstworldproblems

The other day I caught myself bellyaching about something or other and I realized I was really just whining about a first world problem. My life is full of first world problems. I have food, shelter and many other creature comforts so I should not complain. But sometimes it feels good to throw a little pity party, so I sat down and started a list. You know, just for fun. So here you go, my 99 first world problems. It might be helpful to punctuate each one with a WAAAAAAAAH!

  1. Sometimes there are so many devices streaming in our house that I cannot get Netflix to load.
  2. My car radio needs to be reprogrammed by the car dealership. In the meantime, I can only tune in to 4 stations.
  3. Cell phone reception in the garage is spotty. Sometimes I can’t call my husband to let him know that dinner is ready.
  4. The bottom of our chest freezer could serve as a training exercise for archaeology students or forensic investigators.
  5. Lego in the vacuum. Lego everywhere actually.
  6. Who changed the thermostat?
  7. The refrigerator has a drinking water dispenser but our tap water tastes better.tap water tastes better messy money
  8. Our stove is white but the rest of our appliances are stainless steel.
  9. The garage is so full of crap that I can’t park in there.
  10. The chemicals in the hot tub ruined my bathing suit.
  11. The barbecue burner cracked and now everything cooks unevenly.
  12. Kids dropped their tablets. Again. They are mostly just crackle glass now.the kids dropped their tablets messy money
  13. The local charity removed their neighbourhood donation bin and now I don’t know how to get rid of all my stuff.
  14. The grocery store ran out of regular bananas so I had to buy organic this week.
  15. I have more online passwords than friends.
  16. The kids drank all the milk and now I have to drink black coffee today.
  17. It rained on the patio cushions.
  18. A rabbit keeps snacking in my vegetable garden.  Family won’t eat rabbit.garden bunny messy money
  19. How long has that chicken been in the refrigerator?  Is it still safe to eat?
  20. Magnets don’t stick to stainless steel. Now I can’t hang my lists on the fridge.
  21. My cell phone has an obsolete operating system. No apps for me.
  22. iTunes reset my iPod and I lost all my playlists.
  23. My neighbour’s inground automatic sprinkler system wakes me up early on the weekends. Actually come to think of it, I have 99 neighbour problems.
  24. The kids outgrew their hockey equipment.
  25. I can’t figure out how to program my coffee maker.spilled coffee messy money
  26. Java updater keeps crashing my laptop.
  27. I got my first credit card at the tender age of 16. Financial disaster ensues. I have recovered but the scars remain. I will blog about this one day.
  28. I can’t find the charger for my e-reader. Must borrow physical books from library.
  29. People keep giving me stuff. I can’t say no.
  30. Loose change is stuck behind the drum in the washing machine. The clanging noise is irritating.
  31. Most of the calls I receive are telemarketers or robocalls.
  32. Family refuses to go camping. They will only stay in 4 star hotels. We stay home.
  33. I took Costco membership card away from my husband. How much mustard does one family need? He is banned for 1 year.
  34. Excessive use of toilet paper leads to frequent plunging.change the roll damn it messy money
  35. I am tired of all the offers I get in the mail.
  36. I am also tired of the constant stream of door to door charity pitches.
  37. I keep getting invited to those home sales parties but not real parties.
  38. Lost the battery cover on our TV remote control. Batteries fall out every time we try to change the channel.
  39. People in this house will go to great lengths to avoid emptying the dishwasher. Their creative use of everyday objects in place of dishes and utensils astounds me.
  40. they discontinued my bra style messy money
  41. The power went out and now I have to reset all the clocks in the house.
  42. My kids have more social media followers than I do. Viral only means one thing to them.
  43. The NASCAR race was rain delayed.nascar rain delay problems messy money
  44. Accidentally left my favourite hairbrush at a hotel. Sob.
  45. My kids found my blog.
  46. Mysterious charges from Xbox live keep appearing on my credit card statement.
  47. The padding on my recliner has worn out.
  48. My car’s brakes are making a loud scraping sound.
  49. Someone’s car alarm keeps going off for no reason.
  50. I was asked to donate to no less than 5 charities and fundraisers this week.
  51. Someone ate all the muffins.someone ate all the muffins messy money
  52. I cannot figure out how to clean our glass shower without getting naked.
  53. Waiting for the new season of The Walking Dead is killing me.season 6 walking dead messy money
  54. My kitchen cabinets are overstuffed.  My French press fell out and smashed on the floor.
  55. HE laundry detergent. I think the appliance manufacturers and soap companies are in cahoots. What a scam.
  56. My blow dryer throws off sparks and overheats. I don’t dare use hairspray.
  57. My husband thought it would be a good idea to start a DVD collection.
  58. Our home phone has 3 handsets. Only one can be located at any given time.
  59. I am already getting stressed out about Christmas.
  60. SPAM. So much spam and not the good kind.spam messy money
  61. One of our savings plans only offers mutual funds.
  62. I spilled nail polish remover on my bedroom dresser. Turns out it removes wood finish too.
  63. I worry that my kids will decide to go to college one day. I worry that my kids will decide not to go to college one day.
  64. Drinking beer in any quantity gives me a headache.drinking beer gives me a headache
  65. People think I am poor because of my car, purse, T-shirt or whatever. Maybe that is a frugal problem. I got 99 frugal problems… (Yes I know that is not grammatically correct.)
  66. Outdoor clothes lines are banned in my neighbourhood.
  67. Windows 8. I can’t even.
  68. Work issued me a Blackberry and now I have to carry two phones that nobody calls me on.
  69. I live with picky eaters. They tell me they don’t care if I send their dinner to Africa.i live with picky eaters messy money
  70. Decorating magazines make me feel like my house is inferior.decorating magazines make me feel bad messy money
  71. People think it is shameful that I have not taken my kids to Disney. One person actually accused me of being a cruel mother!
  72. Writing this list is exhausting.
  73. The Sunday Night Blues are the worst.
  74. I am still not 100% convinced about climate change.
  75. The thought of packing prevents me from listing and selling our house.
  76. I think I want a horse.i think i want a horse messy money
  77. I don’t have enough room on my kitchen countertops for all my kitchen gadgets.
  78. Speaking of kitchen gadgets, I find it easier just to cut, grate, chop, mix, and blend manually anyway. Wasted money and wasted space.
  79. I forgot to water the flowers on the front step and now I think they are dead.I forgot to water the flowers Messy Money
  80. Blogging is more fun than my day job. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have 99 blogging problems however…
  81. Spell-check. I don’t even try to spell any more. Can you tell? Wait is that how you spell it? Is it spell-check or spellcheck or spell check?
  82. The ice in our ice maker gets freezer burn.
  83. Our kids thought we were poor because we don’t have an in ground swimming pool. (But then they found my blog….)
  84. Cell phone zombies.  Ugh. Really? Do you have to text while you are talking to me? What is everyone texting about anyway?
  85. My pantry is full but there is nothing to eat.pantry full but nothing to eat messy money
  86. Celebrity and pseudo-celebrity reality TV shows have destroyed some of my brain cells. I wish I could unwatch those shows and get my brain cells back.
  87. I resent the amount of time I spend trying to get technology to work. Crashes, reboots, upgrades, patches, downloading, waiting, troubleshooting, scanning, compatibility errors. Don’t worry about Artificial Intelligence. It will never happen at the rate we are going.AI ain't gonna happen
  88. Wow, complain much. It pains me that I had no problem finding this many first world problems. Is it cheating, putting this one on the  list?
  89. The shoe rack in my closet is full. All of my closets are full actually, but I have nothing to wear.
  90. Sometimes there are too many things to choose from.
  91. The glare from the sun makes it hard to watch the flat screen.
  92. I don’t know how I am going to get rid of 5 bins full of Lego.too much lego messy money
  93. My husband underpaid his credit card balance by one cent. Interest charges accrued.
  94. Everyone’s Facebook feed is more interesting than mine.
  95. I forgot to put the SD card in my camera and missed a bunch of great photos opportunities.
  96. I am pretty sure the neighbours think my car is bringing down property values.
  97. There is nothing to watch on TV right now.
  98. I have been a sucker for cleaners, cleaning gadgets and organizers. There is no magic formula. You just have to clean. Sometimes the truth hurts.
  99. I got caught by Google Streetview – taking out the trash. I was dressed like a slob, my hair was a mess and I was wearing kids running shoes. It is embarrassing. People laugh. At least I am not the only one.me on google streetview- messy money

Do you have first world problems?

24 Comments


    1. Yes 40 – my husband just doesn’t understand! Thanks for stopping by, glad you liked it.

      Reply


  1. Haha, great satirical view of our over abundant society!
    No matter what the situation a complainer will complain, regardless of their circumstances.
    Did you write all these yourself?!
    Jonny recently posted…Top 5 ETF FundsMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Thanks Jonny. Yes, these are all mine but some of these problems may be universal. New problems keep cropping up though so I might have a new list coming soon. Ah – my life is abundant.

      Reply


  2. Great list! Love the kitchen counter clutter with useless unneeded appliances. I cook everyday and don’t own a food processor or chopper as I prefer to do it manually. Easy to wash a knife and cutting board.
    Mrs. LC@LooseChangeLiving recently posted…F.U.N. in the WorkshopMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Yes you are right. I do love my mixer but I bought a giant fancy food processor and it is such a pain…..

      Reply

  3. Haha, I did a post called #FirstWorldProblems several months ago. This makes me think I need to do another one. (By the way, I love that your ice cubes get freezer burn. If it makes you feel any better, our Roomba is dusty.)

    Also, congrats on (presumably) not slapping the idiot who called you a cruel mother for forgoing Disneyland.

    Oh, and I recently found out the nail-polish remover too. I was using it to get nail polish off something, and I thought the pad was dry enough to put on the side table. Nope. We now have a small circle of non-cherry wood finish. Luckily, it’s a cheap table we found at a thrift store.

    By the way, we’d constantly lose the phone in an old apartment we had. Eventually, my husband went and got glow-in-the-dark stickers to slap on the handsets. At least at night, we could find the phones pretty easily. Whether we remembered to keep them charged was another issue.
    Abigail @ipickuppennies recently posted…10 reasons sleep is frugalMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Oh awesome – I will go check that out and the dusty roomba is hilarious. I was inspired by Jay Z song “I got 99 problems” which I just found out was released in 2003 so as usual and way behind the times.

      Reply

    1. It’s complicated. Good catch though! British Mom, Canadian Dad. Work at CAN-AM company and a poor speller to begin with and the different spellings just make it worse. Try sending a note to someone asking someone in US for a “cheque” and someone in Canada for a “check”. Confusion ensues. LOL

      Reply

  4. This is brilliant May! So many of these I can relate to. Ah the joys of so many worries that kids will bring you! And love the cat pic – the water is never ‘fresh enough’ in the bowl for our two cats!

    I’ve been trying to focus on being grateful lately, but coming up with 99 things seems much too hard…
    Jason @ Islands of Investing recently posted…Million Dollar Islands update – June 2015My Profile

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    1. Another great post idea. 99 things I am grateful for. I really could do a 99 things series. Cheers and thanks for coming by!

      Reply

    1. LOL. I keep finding these problems everywhere now. Good luck with the HOA!

      Reply

  5. Lol, this list is great. The struggle is real and I’m sure many of your readers including me can relate. The new trailer for season 6 of Walking Dead looks insane. 🙂 Can’t wait!
    Liquid recently posted…China’s Stock Market VolatilityMy Profile

    Reply

    1. Thanks. Never thought I would watch a show with “zombies” – who knew. New 1st world problems keep cropping up everyday…

      Reply

    1. Thank Brian. I could do a post about 99 parenting problems. I do love them though….

      Reply

  6. Oh that Google Streetview! I am sad about that because I’d be bummed too. It’s like a bad drivers license picture you’re stuck with for 8 years. 🙁

    Loved the list though! I think the more complicated our lives are, the more things annoy us. The simpler they are, the more we see the positive side of things and the more grateful we are. Technology has been a big plus in some respects, but too much is a real minus.

    The key is to find the sweet spot. I’ll tell ya when I find it! Let me know if you find it first! 😛

    Reply

    1. Thanks Kay – I won’t stop searching. Latest 1st world problem. The letter P won’t work on my keyboard without special effort. Sigh….

      Reply

    1. Thanks Kirsten. NASCAR is big in this house. I can take it or leave it but I live with fanatics so any disruption to race day is a problem. Glad you liked it and thanks for stopping by.

      Reply

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